The requirement of a good ‘conversationalist’ isn’t just that we speak well, but that we are a good listener also. In our last post we talked about a few skills we need to develop to be a good listener. Here are a few more things to consider:

Eye contact
Eye contact is a very important listening skill. If you’re not making eye contact with someone who is speaking to you, then you’re giving that person the feeling that you’re not interested in them or in what they’re saying. Likewise, in order to have others listen to you, you need to look at those who you are talking to. If you are staring at the ceiling while you are talking or stating your opinion, then you’re likely to go unheard. Others are going to feel that you don’t want to talk about or express your opinions, and that your opinions are not very important. Look others in the eye to get their attention and respect.
Nod occasionally
Nodding says “yes I agree” or “yes I understand what’s being said.
Show them you are interested
Asking questions tells the other person that you’re interested in what they’re saying, and that you find them interesting. ‘Hmmm’ making similar sounds is another way to indicate that you’re finding what’s being said interesting. It won’t interrupt the speaker’s flow of conversation or their train of thought.
Watch your body language
Fidgeting and crossing and uncrossing your arms can indicate impatience, while leaning in slightly towards your conversation partner indicates rapt attention. You will earn a genuine interest from others in what you say, by having a genuine interest in what they have to say.

Listening skills are very important to carrying on a conversation. You need to follow the topic of conversation and understand what is being said in order to contribute to it.
Listen carefully to what others are saying. People often interpret things said by others in a way that clouds their ability to hear what people are intending to say. By giving your full attention to the speaker, you can hear what they intend for you to hear, instead of what you want to hear.
Always assume that a speaker is saying exactly what they mean to say. Even if it seems unclear, try to find meaning and coherence to the words they are saying, and give them the respect of hearing what they want you to hear. The art of conversation is a ‘give and take’ between people, not ‘one speaker and one listener’.
After having made a statement yourself, give others the time to express their opinions, and listen carefully to the other person’s response. Don’t speak for minutes on end without letting the other person speak. A good conversation needs balance. ‘Hogging’ the conversation is a sure way to end it.